No matter how much a person or a community prepares for a hurricane. There are certain things that will occur that are painful and so frustrating. One of those experiences is ''Distant Grief". There are tons of different kinds of frustrations associated with a hurricane disaster. There are physical frustrations, economic frustrations and even spiritual frustrations.
No matter how much one tries to think of everything to have on their emergency preparedness checklist no one can plan for everything. At least that is what I am told.
I firmly believe with high quality disaster preparedness information, we can do a great deal more for our hurricane preparedness, including the emotional frustrations that will inevitably be associated with a storm of that nature. When there is a catastrophic storm such as a tropical storm or hurricane there is unfortunately many times that there are deaths that occur. These deaths can be physical deaths of loved ones, friends and neighbors as well as the death of the way a community use to be. It is very hard to remake a community the way it was in pre-hurricane times. As the old song goes "If we could turn back the hands of time' but frankly we can not do that. I sure wish we could.
No matter where the hurricane strikes there will result in a group of persons known as 'distant grievers'. Distant griever experiences have a special kind of grief when tragedy has occurred ‘back home’. This is compounded even more when the tragedy is a massive tragedy such as a hurricane.
The long term frustration is that of communication. This issue comes in all shapes and sizes. There is frustration in not being able to call loved ones in the disaster affected area to find out what has happened because telephone service is disrupted. .
Another frustration is often the language barrier that distant grievers experience. There is generally less native language communication programming that can offer quick and accurate information in one’s native language when someone is living away from their original language homeland. For those who are acclimating to a different language it is frustrating trying to find out information when struggling with a new language that is not that familiar. In a disaster situation, distant grievers want information fast and timely just like the rest of us do when an emergency occurs in our lives. Often that information comes even slower and in more fragments pieces if one relies on local media coverage. The good news is that there is the internet that can offer information in the original language to help the distant griever learn more about the situation back home. Depending on the economic situation, the distant griever may or may not have immediate or continuous access to the internet for local disaster news.
Another frustration in communication is the challenge that many have in expressing their fears and worries to others who are their neighbors and co-workers when there is a language barrier. Many distant grievers find it hard to express their feelings to the outside world. Fear of rejection is a possibility. Additionally, different cultures have different ways of expressing their feelings. For some their culture accepts intense emotions while others expect expressions of emotions to be limited in public areas. These cultural differences in grief expression can at times be misinterpreted by the hosting culture.
Another frustration is the inability to help. The geographical distance is such a daunting and restricting inhibitor for many who are grieving from a distance. Many have skills that are so necessary during an emergency such as a hurricane but due to geographic distance they are not able to help. Their frustration mounts daily.
One of my frustrations is that this blog does not afford me the opportunity to go into more detail about the frustrations of distant grief! More information can be found in the chapter “Tears Far Away” in Train For A Hurricane.
COMMENTS WELCOMED!
Are you or have you been a Distant Griever? Do you know someone who is or has been a distant griever in the past?
Please share your thoughts and stories here on this blog.
All I ask is that everyone be respectful and sensitive of each other and that identifying information about a person who is not the author be limited to protect their privacy.
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