Disaster recovery – more than homes that are broken – so are hearts!
Disaster recovery is filled with lots of broken things including hearts, dreams and lives. A few disaster victim families have been able to see their homes. One CNN reporter took some pictures of a family’s home that was damaged but still standing and showed it to the family since they were not allowed to go back to see the damage. . Others will see aerial pictures of miles of vacant lots on the shore line of bay side where once many homes stood against the bright sun and blue sky.
In the weeks ahead there will be a voyage to the nightmare of hurricane destruction. There will be so few things left that speak of life before Hurricane Ike came ashore. People will either want to just walk away and never come back or they will want to try to rebuild their lives instantly with what is left. Much of what is left, are memories that no one can not run away no matter how hard we try – nor should we.
Friends and family will want to help in the disaster recovery by tossing everything in a trash bag to get rid of the hurricane memories stained with tears, mud and seaweed.
Yet there is something else that is there—the few remaining artifacts that there was a life before Hurricane Ike. Please be gentle and careful of what you throw away. If you are not sure about an item then wait. Take your time sifting through the life you had before Ike blew in. It is a time to remember and to grieve the loss of home and history. There is a sort of grief comfort in sorting through the rubble. A broken cup, a broken picture frame can a have special meaning that it never had before. Those items many have no monetary worth but they can and often will have loads of sentimental value.
Coping with grief especially after a disaster is very difficult. Many think that grief help is about cleaning up and getting on with life. That is a part of grief process way down the line perhaps months or possibly years. The initial part is dealing with the grief by adjusting to the massive loss of not only things but of a history of life. The best grief support you can give during this period of time is not the clean-up but the listening to the stories and holding a loved one in the sobs of heart wrenching tears and wailing. That is disaster grief work of recognizing the depth of the loss that wind and water washed away violently.
Hurricane survivor grief does not go away quickly if ever. There is always a small portion of it that sits unmovable in the center of the heart. The tears spill out beyond the heart into everyday living.
Dealing with death of a homestead is a pain grief that unless you have experienced it is beyond words. It is a thief that has stolen the inner anchor of physical stability called home. Helping grief of this magnitude and nature is the strength of silent presence in the midst of disaster grieving. No one can take away the pain but can journey along side those that are in disaster anguish.
In the days, weeks and months ahead there will be numerous grief resources to help with disaster recovery as a promise of healing grief. Some grief resources will be more helpful than others and each person’s grief is different. The one frequent commonality is the slow process of time that heals some of the layers of disaster grieving. In time one adjusts life and faces again a new day while in some ways to a greater or lesser extend is coping grief in the face of a hurricane called Ike.
Bereavement support groups can be helpful for many as well as journaling, praying, jogging and drawing. They are all ways that can help disaster stress grief subside. Traumatic grief is one of the most sinister forms of grief, it sneaks back when you least expect it. People who have gone through such tragedies as a hurricane disaster often find bereavement help and grief counseling every helpful.
If you are beginning to clean up after a hurricane disaster both physically and emotionally, the best advice from one that has been there is take your time for rushing can often just delay the grief process and extend the pain of mourning, bereavement and grief. Grief can not be done away with quickly. It has its own pattern, time and rhyme.
“When in doubt- don’t throw out” a small mud stained hair brush that was your mother’s or a folk that was a favorite of your grandmother that is now bent and broken. These can be the gems to help hold on to the past as you reluctantly move into the future.
If the temptations to just get rid of things and move on at all cost then beware, for once you throw out a memory or an item no matter how broken it can often be impossible to retire it. So as you enter into the recovery phase of disaster deal gently with the time and decision hat you have to make. Not everything ahs to be done in a day or a week.
Follow that broken heart as it heals, the love inside will be the best compass and leader of them all.
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Be Safe – Be Prepared – Help Others!
Terrie
www.trainforahurricane.com
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